Tuesday, 22 January 2013

Fight for your happiness! Do not ruin your life!

Morris and Helen married for 80!!! years with 2 children, 7 grandchildren 
and 6 great grandchildren

Marriage of Morris and Helen in 1934. 
 Hello, my dear readers!

First of all, Sorry that I have not placed articles in English recently. I promise to make translations for all my articles and notes which have already been published. 

Now here is an article completely in English except examples taken by me in internet which I have also translated for you into English.

Эту статью я писала полностью на английском, кроме примеров, взятых мною в интеренте, так как я верю, что эта статья главным будет полезна для индийцев, которые активно посещают мой блог. Кроме того, я давно не писала для англоязычной аудитории. На русский переведу статью тоже обязательно!

Here is an article preferably for Indians and other readers who believe in arranged marriages and reject love marriage claiming love marriages are always/often a failure because they lead to divorce. This article is also for those people, mostly females, who decide to keep their marriage only for the sake of keeping the marriage while married life does not give them any satisfaction or content anymore.

While living in India I got to know that most Indians do not believe in marriages between an Indian and a foreigner stating that foreigners are not serious about marriage and so do not get married for a life time but just for a short period of time. 

I have been always finding such an opinion of Indians quite unfair and subjective. So I have searched in Internet to find the facts proving that marriages between foreigners may be OFTEN for lifetime while marriages between Indians may be a failure. The following facts reject those unfair and not correct ideas and teach us not to treat all alike.

There are a lot of marriages in the world and particularly in India and Russia with spouses living together as strangers or even enemies. Me personally I am strictly against keeping a marriage when the spouses do not respect each other anymore, hate each other, have love affairs on the side etc, etc. There are marriages like that everywhere in the world but especially in India and other countries where divorce is considered bad or not appropriate. It means that in such countries like Russia, a person has the right to break not satisfactory relationship and if one does not break such poor relationship, this is only his/her own choice, while in India and most other Asian countries such as Gulf ones, a person does not even have a choice! This injustice is mostly based just on the opinion of society !  

I am writing this article to try to pay attention of the people towards this problem once again though I know that there must have been written already a lot about it. Moreover, I am almost sure that most of those who would read my article up to the end would be the people who already agree with me. While those who really need to read this post will simply ignore it! It's usually like with humans  - most of us do not want to admit our mistakes, delusions, and fallacy.  

To sum it all up, I want people who are still against divorce to realize that divorce may be much less harmful than a bad marriage which can hardly be called a marriage. My opinion is that divorce is not the end of the world like some people in India and Russia do believe, but it's just a refusal from old life that was not good enough, it's a rejection of BAD life, and a step towards new opportunities and NEW life! I hope you agree with me that It's much better than to maintain a bad marriage with a spouse who does not suit you, and so intentionally or not intentionally makes you unhappy and all your life a failure. 

I want also to prove that Russian people and other westerners do not necessarily divorce! Russian or European marriage may last or not last for lifetime. Yes, there are divorces in western countries but they are only an evidence of a free will of western people and not a proof of wrong family values or proclivity towards divorces!

Here are a few examples of lifetime marriages witRussian and western spouses: 


In a village near Voronezh town, Russia, the spouses have been living together for 70 years! 

Под Воронежем супруги прожили вместе 70 лет! 

- "Мы с Алексеем оба песковские, познакомились в нашем сельском клубе. Я тогда работала кассиром, а Алексей — комбайнёром. Полтора года повстречались, а поженились в непростом 1938 году, когда в стране было не до гулянок."

Wife: "Alexey and I are from the same village and met at a local club. At that time I worked as a cashier and Alexey was a harvester operator. We had dated during 1 and half year before we got married in 1938."

В честь 70-летия Алтайского края особого внимания удостоятся супружеские пары, прожившие вместе 70 лет. 23 августа 2007 г. (14:43)

During celebrations in the hornour of the 70th Anniversary of Altay region of Russia, the officials paid special attention to the couples who have been living in marriage for 70 years. 23 August 2007 г. (14:43)

Source in Russian language/Источник на русском языке:


 the Afanasyevs ,
Tatiana and Vasiliy

Yesterday Ulyanovsk couple the Afanasyevs 

celebrated crown wedding

Вчера ульяновская пара Афанасьевых отметила коронную свадьбу
An extraordinary couple has come to a registry office of a Ukranian town on St. Valentine's Day.
The spouses have been living in marriage for 70 years! How wonderful it is that 88 year old Tatiana  Afanasyeva and Vasiliy Afanasiev, being of the same age, have been maintaining their love during so many years. 

3 years after their marriage a young husband had to join the Soviet army in the Second World War.
But the war was not able to separate these 2 hearts. Vasiliy went through the war and reached Prague, while his faithful wife Tatiana was waiting for him at home. Wounded but alive Vasiliy came back home.

Since that time they have never been separated. 

The couple has gave birth to and brought up 4 children, and there are in total 5 grandchildren and 8 great grandchildren in the family!

- "The secret of our love lies in respect of each other",  the Afanasyevs say with a smile. "One is grumbling, another one is silent is our motto. That's how we have managed to live together until our heads went grey. We experienced quarrels and fights but always made piece with each other."

- "We experienced a lot in our life but I have never raised my hand against my wife", - Vasiliy makes it clearer. "We wish current newlyweds to live together as long as us."

Необычная пара пришла в День святого Валентина в Засвияжский загс. Супруги прожили вместе, рука об руку не двадцать и не тридцать, а целых 70 лет! Удивительно, как через столько лет 88-летние Татьяна Алексеевна и Василий Павлович Афанасьевы (супруги одногодки) пронесли свою любовь.

Через три года после свадьбы, молодого мужа забрали на Великую Отечественную войну. Но даже она не смогла разлучить любимых. Рядовым 465 стрелкового полка первого Украинского фронта Василий Павлович добрался до Праги. А Татьяна Алексеевна верно и преданно ждала мужа все эти годы. Раненый любимый вернулся домой.

С тех пор пара не расстается. Вместе Афанасьевы воспитали четверых детей. А всего в крепкой семье пять внуков и восемь правнуков.

- "Секрет нашей любви - в уважении друг к другу, - говорят Афанасьевы и улыбаются, - Один ворчит, другой молчит - вот наш девиз. Потому и прожили до седых волос вместе рука об руку. Ведь за столько лет всякое бывало: и ссорились, и мирились."

- "Сколько разного пережили, но ни разу я руку на жену не поднял, - уточняет Василий Павлович. – И нынешним молодоженам желаем дожить до наших годов. Пусть берут с нас пример."

Source in Russian language/Источник на русском языке:


The Zhiltsovs from Angarsk city of Russia celebrate "Blissfull Marriage": they have been living together for 70 years.
Супруги Жильцовы из г.Ангарска празднуют Благодатную свадьбу: они прожили вместе 70 лет.

Peter and Khristina consider themselves newlyweds. The years spent together has gone like a single one. According to the spouses the main things in marriage are love and understanding. Now Khristina is 89 and Peter is 93.
They were born in different parts of Russia: Khristina - in Altay, Peter - in Saratov region. Peter was a son of a dispossessed kulak. He was roaming about the country in search of a job and life brought him to Altay where he met his future wife.
During the war Khristina was left alone with a baby. Peter has gone through the Second World War and came back to his wife though seriously wounded - he lost an eye. After the war the Zhiltsovs lived in Tadzhikistan for several years and outlived a horrible earthquake of 1985 after which they moved to Angarsk to their daughter's place.

Khristina: "When we got married I had only 2 frocks and my husband - 1 pair of pants", but we lived happily with each other like kids."

Петр Киреевич и Христина Николаевна Жильцовы считают себя молодоженами. Прожитые вместе годы прошли как один. По мнению супругов, главное в семейной жизни - любовь и понимание. Сейчас ей - 89, ему - 93. 

Родились супруги - Христина Рылова на Алтае, Петр Жильцов в Саратовской области. Сын раскулаченного землевладельца скитался по стране в поисках работы. Судьба забросила его на Алтай, там и познакомились. Работали на одном предприятии. Началась война. Христина Николаевна осталась одна с маленьким ребенком. Петр Киреевич служил на Ленинградском фронте сапером. Получил серьезное ранение и лишился левого глаза. После войны семья несколько лет прожила в Таджикистане. Чудом оставшись в живых во время страшного землетрясения 1985 года, переехали к дочери в Ангарск.

- "Как мы поженились, у меня было два платья, у него одни брюки. Как дети жили и радовались друг другу."

Source in Russian language/Источник на русском языке:



Frank and Anita Milford
English spouses have been living together for 80 years!
Английские супруги прожили вместе 80 лет!

Frank Milford and his wife Anita got married at the age of 20. 
Now they have already celebrated 80 years anniversary of life together!
They gave vows to love each other 80 years ago in 1928 and they have never been separated since then .

Френк Милфорд и его жена Анита поженились когда обоим исполнилось по 20 лет. 26 мая "молодые" отпраздновали восьмидесятилетие (!) супружеской жизни. They have 2 children and 4 grandchildren. 

In addition both spouses also celebrated 100 years birth anniversary.

В тот майский день 1928 года они поклялись друг другу в верности и с тех пор не расстаются. У них двое детей и четверо внуков. 

Примечательно, что оба супруга отпраздновали не только свадебный, но и возрастной юбилей. И Френк и Анита перешагнули столетний юбилей. 

источник MIGnews.com

This is only a small number of lifetime marriages! I have found a lot of others in the Internet, so many that it's simply impossible to mention all of them in one article.

I will not post here notes about divorces in India but they do take place here as well as lifetime HAPPY marriages take place in Russia, Ukraine and Europe. The main purpose of this article is not to prove that Indians have a flaw in the society but to show that westerners do have lifetime marriages and what is the most important - happy lifetime marriages. My belief is that every individual does have the right to be happy in life. So please fight for your happiness and do not miss your happiness simply because of society opinion or pressure of your relatives or because of your own weak willed temper. 

Yours, Eve


  1. you could simply tell them to get lost. you need not write this much :)

  2. Evelina, I really agree with you. Moreover, I have personal experience of unhappy marriage, but the main problem is the child, and for example, my half Indian daughter will never forgive me if I divorce her father, all the Indian side of the family will be shocked and most probably will cut me off. So you see divorce, or even separation is not always a solution.

    1. Hi, thank you for sharing your personal situation. I have just tried to imagine how it would be if I had to face the same problem as yours. You are right surely mother cannot leave her child...And I know another family like yours, the foreign wife used to have severe fights with her Indian mother-in-law. The couple also cannot divorce but they decided to live separately: the mother now lives alone with her child and the husband visits them regularly.

      Try to have more influence on your daughter, try to make her your friend and try to make her familiar with and understand another world where divorce is not a bad thing so that she could understand your decision. I wish you good luck, patience and love and tenderness of your daughter.


От автора

Все описанное мной ни в коем случае не несет в себе никакого осуждения или порицания. Факт остается фактом, что все народы разные и у каждого народа есть свои особенности, которые могут представлять интерес для кого-либо, как, например, для Вас, если Вы читаете этот блог. Поэтому я делюсь с Вами своими наблюдениями об Индии и индийцах, которые являются моими личными наблюдениями, и анализирую и высказываю свое личное мнение,основанное на моем опыте. Если у Вас другой опыт, то поделитесь им - комментарии приветствуются!